Our Archived Words

Dichotomies Observed While Musing

Posted by Elaine on July 27, 2004

I am a relationship-driven person. Years ago, when I was training to become a consultant and workshop leader, I discovered during a very revelatory exercise that the glue that binds my being together is the creation and evolution of a personal relationship. That I am a 'partner' person. That without a partner, I am distracted and looking for one. Without the root-growing grounding of a positive relationship with another being, I am made off purpose by the 'hunt' for one. A bird dog, without my mate, a perpetual seeker for the 'one'.

I am a triple Taurus, but in my 'beingness' I chose to come in on the far Cusp of Gemini. So I am a changeable unchangeable, twin of two directions, a human who never has an ordinary sense of where I am geographically or spatially, but frequently thinks that wherever I am, it is a grounded if not fanciful place.

To complicate matters material, my mother was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. In the hug or the grip of my good/bad Mommy, I became an extroverted Thinking/Intuitive. I think, or intuit, that I was born to be an introverted Feeling/Sensation type, who in a manner that frequently became a lifestyle for me, went very openly into hiding.

These very comings and goings resulted in a lifetime and several halves of variegate and marvelous constructing-and-demolishing experiences...enough perhaps to fill several books and maybe one amazing movie.

In the movie of my life I am a person who was born in 1936, and is still alive and well and floored by the technology and by the opportunities of it all in the year 2004. I have the very distinct memory of walking home from school, into Sea Gate, NY, through the Mermaid Avenue Gate, where Wally the cop, my favorite, usually greeted me, and wondering, 'would I be alive in the year 2000?' I was then about 6 years old, and I thought that I would be an ancient 64 years old, and I couldn't imagine that I still would be alive.

I live, I breathe, I think a lot, musing on the things that I've observed in the past 68 years. I'd love to share some of these observations with you on this, our website. I am neither Spider Man or Cat Lady, either; I am a short and androgynous Shrek-like sometimes ogre-manly, girly-type, who is also a sometimes Charlotte (as in Web) wannabe. As this continuing work in progress, I'd like to keep presenting myself to you all.

Please feel free to interact with me. Me and this movable feast of a blog are being offered to you from the spiritual side of this scientific world. I am in awe of what I've witnessed so far, and eager to put in my 2 cents worth. I love living in this world, and it's been a fixed desire for me to contribute what I can to its evolution. One way, perhaps, is by describing my own revolving stages.

Along with Rhoberta, I want to thank everyone who contributed to our being able to celebrate the launching of our 'pad'. Most of all, I thank Rhoberta, who I frequently call 'Wonder Woman'. She is the template for me of wisdom, compassion, and unconditional love. A Pisces kind of woman, like my mother was, too. My father was a Taurus, like me.

Love and hugs, el

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